Transitioning Times

I'm disheartened to see so many cases of sexual assault by people in power, though I'm not surprised one bit. Harvey Weinstein, Ben Affleck, Dr. Larry Nassar, Bill O’Reilly, Steven Seagal, R. Kelly, and even former president George H. W. Bush, along with several others, have recently been accused of sexual assault or harassment. This is our society; it is so deeply rooted in us. We let rape jokes slide, demean and dehumanize women, don’t hold perpetrators accountable, and blame victims for their assault. We teach people how not to get assaulted/raped, but we don't teach people to not rape. (Here’s a video put together by Huffington Post about many of the allegations that have come out following the allegations against Harvey Weinstein: https://www.facebook.com/HuffPost/videos/544774159200069/ ) Sexual assault and harassment are about power and control, and when perpetrators have additional power due to their position in society or industry, it is bound to be a bree...

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL VIOLENCE             Why didn't I fight? This is probably the question I am most asked by others. For a long time, it was a question I could not stop asking myself. The following is an excerpt from my memoir, written years ago when I was still grappling with that question.             “Right,” I told him at the intersection. He smiled and turned left.             “What are you doing?” I asked, my voice jumping in fear, which I tried to disguise as playfulness. Of course this was a joke. See? I get that it’s a joke. Now turn around. Turn around. Turn around. My eyes focused on my hands on my lap, the seatbelt tight across my chest, suddenly feeling too tight. The inside of his car was grey, all grey. I wanted to think of what to say, to do, but all I could think about was the grey. ...

Individuals with disabilities experience sexual violence at alarming rates.  Victims of sexual violence who have intellectual/developmental disabilities are often overlooked because they may not be able to speak for themselves.  Many times, these individuals are completely physically and emotionally dependent on someone else and may have a difficult time communicating. Individuals with disabilities are not always taught how to set specific boundaries for themselves, and they are encouraged to be compliant with others.  Some victims are not capable of  giving consent to a sexual relationship. More than 90 percent of people with developmental disabilities will experience sexual abuse at some point in their lives. Forty-nine percent will experience 10 or more abusive incidents (Valenti-Hein & Schwartz, 1995). There are many different ways to help individuals with developmental disabilities that have disclosed sexual violence. ·     ...

As a parent of two children, one boy and one girl, I perhaps was not as vigilant as I should have been in controlling their access to video games and movies that had “adult content.”  I breathe a sigh of relief that I do not have to raise them in today’s environment.    I still remember no longer allowing my son to watch professional wrestling on television.  He used to love to physically wrestle with his stuffed power ranger, and I thought it was cute.  Then, the news of the death of one child by another resulting from a choke hold that the child saw on TV’s “Wrestlemania,” caused me to end my son’s growing preoccupation with professional wrestling.  He took it well and found another way to pass his time.  I always controlled the games he could play on his Playstation I then Playstation II, and he seemed fine with being limited to sports only video games.  My son was told why and also knew that he should not be shooting weapons while playin...

Today, I had the opportunity to read a very thoughtful article written by Anna Kegler, posted on Huffington Post: Sexual Violence Prevention: It's Time to Go Big .  I highly encourage you to read the article.  It discusses the lack of a national "public service" campaign to prevent sexual violence beyond communties on the internet.  As the other staff people at Transitions can tell you, I enjoy reading (and sharing!) news stories and other media that I see involving domestic violence, sexual assault and other topics that affect our clients.  However, I had never really thought about the fact that there is no national campaign for preventing sexual abuse.  The only media that I have recently seen about domestic violence or sexual abuse is on billboards.  In today's digital world, billboards are not enough.  Perhaps because domestic violence agencies and rape crisis centers are found in most communties, people think there is enough awareness.  Victi...