Supporting Survivors Through Domestic Violence
Throughout the past couple years working with survivors, a few times I have heard clients say that someone in their support system stopped talking to them because they chose to go back to their abuser. Sometimes the person can’t handle seeing their loved one go through continued abuse, and sometimes they deem the act as “tough love,” hoping if they cut ties, their loved one will choose to leave and stay away from their abuser. I am saddened when I hear this from my clients. In some cases, these loved ones have good intentions, but often with bad results. I understand the notion of tough love, but I don’t think cycles of violence and abuse are the place for tough love. There are an endless amount of reasons that survivors may return to their abuser, especially when kids are involved. Most of all, enduring abuse is psychological and traumatic. Experiencing trauma at the hands of an abuser creates trauma bonds in the survivor where they become psychologically bonded with their perpet...