Transitioning Times

Dear Mom and Dad: Stopping child sexual abuse before it happens is one of the best responses to child sexual abuse, but it is also one of the most difficult conversations to have with parents.  As a prevention educator, I puzzle over why some parents unwittingly fail their children in regards to taking the necessary measures to protect them from child sexual abuse.  Admittedly, child sexual abuse makes us feel sick inside.  It fills our hearts with dread and our minds with confusion.  It is downright scary to contemplate that one of our friends or trusted family members may be a potential predator.  It is all too easy to tell ourselves that this happens to other people and in other families since nobody in our circles would dream of doing such a thing.  If only this were true.  A father told me last week that he did not want to destroy his first-grader’s innocence.  “Why does she need to know about such things?  I do not want her...

Originally published in 1996, with a second edition printed in 2003, Uncle Willy’s Tickles, by Marcie Aboff teaches children about their personal boundaries, or body sovereignty, a term used by professionals in the field of child safety.  Recognized by the American Psychological Association as a “wonderful way to address the important issue of a child’s right to own his own body and say no,” this book is one of five books chosen by the Care for Kids curriculum – an early childhood sexuality and abuse prevention program designed for kids from PreK through second grade.  Taking a different approach from other books that address sexual touching, this book features Kyle who is tickled by a beloved uncle named Willy.  Uncle Willy is a wonderful uncle who lets Kyle sit behind the wheel of his pickup truck and pretend to drive.  He takes Kyle ice cream sundaes and can do all sorts of magic tricks that make Kyle and his whole family laughs and has fun.  Kyle eviden...

Many parents are not comfortable talking to their kids about sex, even though they might want them to know about the changes going on in their developing bodies, the feelings that they will start to have toward the bodies of others, the importance of self-control, birth-control, and how to prevent sexually transmitted infections.  Still, no matter how awkward these talks may be, communicating to your children in an affirming, respectful way really help kids form strong values and make healthier decisions. Some parents, guardians, and teachers have expressed concern that talking to kids about sex and their developing bodies may give them the wrong idea!  However, Karofsky (2000), cites that studies show that teens whose parents talked to them about their sexuality in a warm and caring way were not only less likely to engage in adolescent sexual intercourse, but also less likely to use drugs or become depressed than their fellow teens who were either negatively informed o...