Infidelity and Domestic Violence
People make all kinds of excuses for inappropriate behavior. They make excuses for themselves, and excuses for the ones they love. Many abusers make excuses for their behavior, both to their significant others and to the outside world. Victims often tell us that their abusers accuse them of infidelity. It makes sense to people from the outside world that if one person is the “cause” of the problems, i.e. s/he actively engaged in an affair, s/he deserves to be punished. Please, do not misunderstand me, neither myself or Transitions believe that ANYONE deserves to be followed, abused, or otherwise “punished.” However, in popular lexicon, we have seen this type of behavior normalized and even celebrated in movies, television, the news, etc. That is the crux of this blog post, that abusers frame their abuse or stalking in the context of finding out if the person engaged in an affair, or because s/he engaged in an affair, and therefore...