Transitioning Times

It’s that time of year again, the end of summer and time for our kids to go back to school.  As parents we are excited for our kids to head back to school, back to learning and sharing the overall experience of another year of school, but for some of us, we feel anxiety and are apprehensive because of what we know our kids may deal with in the new school year.  I am talking about “Bullies” !  Bullies are everywhere, in school, online, and according to most students I talk to, on the school bus.  I call it the “Not-So-Magic” school bus. Too often we hear about accidents involving school transportation vehicles.   According to the U.S. Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, from 2003 to 2012, 55 school-age children died in school-transportation related crashes.  A large number of those accidents happened because the drivers were distracted by issues between kids on the bus. The U.S. Department of Education say...

As an advocate working in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault, I talk a lot about power and control. It's funny, when you recognize the dynamics of power and control; you start to see it everywhere. I am glad I am able to recognize it now and point it out to clients, in order to help them recognize the power of it. What is power and control? Here's a little graphic for you. (http://www.lfcc.on.ca/HCT_SWASM_5.html) Simply put, it is someone's need to feel power and control over another person. This can manifest in many different ways and severities. It could be something as simple as changing the time of a person's plans from 5 to 5:15. (Of course, if this happens to you, it doesn't necessarily mean that the person does it to feel power and control over you.) And on the other spectrum, it can manifest in domestic violence and sexual assault. Rape is not about a desire for sex, it's a desire for power and control.  Anyway, th...

Well, they say that by the Fourth of July summer is half over and school is just around the corner, so I guess that’s how it is.  Some folks may already have their vacations in the books for this year and some may still be in the planning stages but if you are one of those who are still looking for some fun and safe things that will continue to entertain your kids for the rest of the summer, we may have some ideas.  If you have yet to head off on your family vacations to the beach or maybe to a popular amusement park, or maybe your kids are going with friends and their families, it’s a perfect opportunity to talk with your kids again about their safety when they are away from home and away from you.  Make sure they have a cell phone loaded with minutes for them to call you when they want, especially if they are going away without you.  Kids won’t admit it, but they miss us when they are away, even when they are having fun.    Also, talk to them about ...

Prior to today, July 1st, the only people who could be granted restraining orders in Pennsylvania were those who qualified for a Protection From Abuse (PFA) Order.  One of the qualifications is that the parties must be related by blood or marriage or have had a dating or intimate relationship.  Thankfully, this has changed!  PA's legislature realized the loopholes this created for victims of crime and has passed the PSVI Act , which allows for victims of sexual violence or intimidation to receive restraining orders, Sexual Violence Protection Orders (SVPOs) or Protection from Intimidation Orders (PFIs). Sexual Violence Protection Orders will be available to anyone who has been a victim of sexual violence but is not related to the person according to the PFA requirements.  Protection from Intimidation Orders will be available to minor children who are being harassed or stalked by an adult.  PCADV has created some great information which I encourage you to read....

Revenge porn is a term used to describe sexually explicit media that is published online for the general consumption of the public.  This content is distributed without the consent of the individual pictured in the image or video.   The use of the term “revenge porn” stems from the fact that, in many cases, this sexually explicit content is posted by ex-lovers as a way to shame, humiliate, or otherwise harm the victim. In February 2015, Kevin Bollaert was convicted in the state of California for identity theft and extortion, crimes committed for the purpose of operating a revenge porn website.  Bollaert would accept nude or otherwise sexually explicit images/videos from jilted exes, post the images on his website, and then demand that the victims pay him to remove the content from the site.  Bollaert’s conviction followed shortly after Noe Ineguez’s conviction in December for posting a topless photo of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook, calling her a slut, and...

This is hands-down one of the best Public Service Announcements I have seen.  It not only brings up issues of consent, but it also encourages bystander intervention. This scenario is a great example of how someone is still awake, waking around, somewhat engaging with others, but is not in a position to consent to sexual activity.  You can see her glassed-over eyes, her swaying, her vacant stare, her complacency.   There is a lot of discussion about consent intellectually , but on the street, on campus, in the bar, I don't think people know the difference between who is a person having a fun time, making informed decisions and who isn't.  How do you solve a problem like that?  ASK!  I once read an article that encouraged people to just ask others "are you ok?" if you suspect anything...domestic violence, child abuse, human trafficking, anything that smells fishy, just ask the person.  If they aren't ok, it gives them the opportunity to say no, a...

     When society hears of sexual violence, the assumption is typically that a man has assaulted a woman. This is happening, at rates that are far too high, but so is sexual violence against men. Imagine how hard it is for a woman to report being sexually assaulted or raped? Now, think how difficult it is for men to report the same type of sexual violence.      Texas Association Against Sexual Assault states, “In the United States, 10% of all victims are male.”   “ About  3% of American men  — or  1 in 33  — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. From 1995-2010, 9% of rape and sexual assault victims were male.   2.78 million men in the U.S. have been victims of sexual assault or rape.”   (RAINN.org)      These men are fathers, brothers, friends, partners, sons, and grandfathers who are looked at as being masculine, aggressive, and self-confident, but men can also be sensitiv...