Rewriting a Well-Written Article
Yesterday, The New York Times published an expose about the relationships that NFL teams have with local law enforcement and how these relationships may leave domestic violence victims without adequate protection. I highly recommend reading this article. It examines on e such case in Florida where the abuser/player was allowed to exit through a rear door to avoid reporters, was given a ride from the station, to the team training complex, then to his (and the victim's) residence to gather some belongings. All this while being escorted by an off-duty law enforcement officer, still in uniform, and operating an unmarked car, which could have been property of the officer or the department.
One of the exercises that bloggers can utilize is to re-write an insensitive or offensive article in the manner you wish the author would have. I obviously do not believe myself to be a superior writer to Steve Eder, of The New York Times, but I would like to take this opportunity to rewrite this article. It follows:
Weston, Fla. 05/27/2010: Phillip Merling has been arrested for aggravated domestic battery on a pregnant woman. He was arraigned in front of Judge Whomever and was released on bail.
Perhaps this "article" could be published in the crime blotter. Just a suggestion.
No special treatment, media attention, or other difference between this person and any other abuser/perpetrator.
I understand that many people feel some kind of ownership in celebrities. However, we do not own any part of this person and they do not owe us anything. I would like celebrities to act as role models, but maybe instead, we should be role models for those children we see and interact with. Whether the abuser or the survivor is a celebrity, this notoriety makes it harder for people to reach out for help. S/he may be worried about her/his own reputation, or the reputation of their partner. If we give less press time to celebrities acting badly, perhaps the lack of attention would deter them from acting badly simply out of a need to get press.
There's a lot that could be done to improve the boundaries within the relationships between local law enforcement and NFL teams, but the New York Times articles covers that thoroughly and hopefully, once exposed, these boundaries are strengthened and enforced.
What I take away from many of these news stories about NFL players is how often the victim/survivors are then bullied and harassed by fans and family of the players. I don't think limiting the press exposure would entirely stop this, but I do think it would help.
One of the exercises that bloggers can utilize is to re-write an insensitive or offensive article in the manner you wish the author would have. I obviously do not believe myself to be a superior writer to Steve Eder, of The New York Times, but I would like to take this opportunity to rewrite this article. It follows:
Weston, Fla. 05/27/2010: Phillip Merling has been arrested for aggravated domestic battery on a pregnant woman. He was arraigned in front of Judge Whomever and was released on bail.
Perhaps this "article" could be published in the crime blotter. Just a suggestion.
No special treatment, media attention, or other difference between this person and any other abuser/perpetrator.
I understand that many people feel some kind of ownership in celebrities. However, we do not own any part of this person and they do not owe us anything. I would like celebrities to act as role models, but maybe instead, we should be role models for those children we see and interact with. Whether the abuser or the survivor is a celebrity, this notoriety makes it harder for people to reach out for help. S/he may be worried about her/his own reputation, or the reputation of their partner. If we give less press time to celebrities acting badly, perhaps the lack of attention would deter them from acting badly simply out of a need to get press.
There's a lot that could be done to improve the boundaries within the relationships between local law enforcement and NFL teams, but the New York Times articles covers that thoroughly and hopefully, once exposed, these boundaries are strengthened and enforced.
What I take away from many of these news stories about NFL players is how often the victim/survivors are then bullied and harassed by fans and family of the players. I don't think limiting the press exposure would entirely stop this, but I do think it would help.
Writing is the key to your success in college and at a job. You should not just think of writing as a chore, but a process to convey your thoughts, ideas and visions. Before you even pick up a pen or sit at a keyboard you should try and develop a voice for your paper. how to rewrite an article
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