Men, Violence Against Women, and What We Can Do About It
Many of our posts are about the impact violence has on its victims, often specifically violence against women. We have been rallying to get the Violence Against Women Act reauthorized, a great deal of our time is spent helping domestic violence victims, often women. Much of our work is reactionary, how to heal, how to deal, what to do after a traumatic event.
But what if there was no violence against women?
What if the climate that allows, ignores or encourages men to perpetrate violence against women changed?
There are organizations that are working to challenge men and boys to define their own masculinity. I was especially moved by a speech given by Tony Porter about the "manbox."
Men are told that their emotions need to contained within a box that includes only anger and fearlessness. Men and boys are taught that they are strong, which in turn means women are weak. That in order to be a "real" man, they need to feel no pain, no emotions. They are superior, women are inferior, that women are objects to be had, to be used to prove their manhood. We encourage boys to play sports, to be aggressive, to fight. When things get out of hand, we give them a pass, saying "boys will be boys." This again enforces the stereotype that in order to be a boy, they need to be wild and uncontrollable. If we do not have higher expectations for men and boys, they will not rise to higher standards. By teaching boys that they need to be aggressive, that they need to put others down, that other people--women, men who are not aggressive, children--are worth less than they are, we continue to tell them that abusing others is okay. That they are expected to "misbehave," and when they do, there will be no punishment because that's what society wanted from them. The links above provide a wealth of information about how our culture of masculinity contributes to the war against women. I encourage your to click around on the links.
There is lots of talk about this being a time of change, whether it is related to politics, the environment, or the Mayan Calendar. Let's hope there is a paradigm shift in how society treats women and how they encourage men to treat them.
But what if there was no violence against women?
What if the climate that allows, ignores or encourages men to perpetrate violence against women changed?
There are organizations that are working to challenge men and boys to define their own masculinity. I was especially moved by a speech given by Tony Porter about the "manbox."
Men are told that their emotions need to contained within a box that includes only anger and fearlessness. Men and boys are taught that they are strong, which in turn means women are weak. That in order to be a "real" man, they need to feel no pain, no emotions. They are superior, women are inferior, that women are objects to be had, to be used to prove their manhood. We encourage boys to play sports, to be aggressive, to fight. When things get out of hand, we give them a pass, saying "boys will be boys." This again enforces the stereotype that in order to be a boy, they need to be wild and uncontrollable. If we do not have higher expectations for men and boys, they will not rise to higher standards. By teaching boys that they need to be aggressive, that they need to put others down, that other people--women, men who are not aggressive, children--are worth less than they are, we continue to tell them that abusing others is okay. That they are expected to "misbehave," and when they do, there will be no punishment because that's what society wanted from them. The links above provide a wealth of information about how our culture of masculinity contributes to the war against women. I encourage your to click around on the links.
There is lots of talk about this being a time of change, whether it is related to politics, the environment, or the Mayan Calendar. Let's hope there is a paradigm shift in how society treats women and how they encourage men to treat them.
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