Legal Advocacy for Victims of Domestic Violence

Being a legal advocate for a domestic violence program can be so rewarding. I feel like I am providing a service to someone who truly needs my help to navigate the court process. Before working for Transitions, I worked in the court system. I tried to help people as much as possible, but I often felt as though there is more I could be doing. I made that change to try to do more.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t things that don’t frustrate me in my role as an advocate. Victims of domestic violence often times face an uphill battle in the court system. Often times judges only look at physical violence when they are deciding whether they will grant a Protection From Abuse (PFA) order or not. Unfortunately, many victims of domestic violence suffer from the effects of verbal and mental abuse long after the physical bruising is gone. Yet, the courts do not consider that for a PFA.

Many people lack understanding and empathy toward victims of domestic violence. On average, it takes a victim leaving seven times before they really leave for good. That means they could file a PFA multiple times and withdraw it or not show up to hearings because they don’t want to follow through with a PFA or with criminal charges.

And, let’s face it: It is frustrating to do paper work, especially when it is the same paper work multiple times. Even more so when it is your job to do the work regardless of how many times the same person files the same papers.

But most likely, those who are doing the paperwork have never been in an abusive situation and could not begin to comprehend the manipulation and mind games that abusers use to keep their victims under their control. Because that’s what the abuse is about – controlling their partner.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), domestic violence is defined as: “The wilful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.”

It’s easy to say I would never allow myself to be in that situation. However, no one sets out to be in an abusive relationship. Most likely, by the time a person recognizes the situation for what it is, the abuser has already manipulated their partner into believing that the abuse is their fault in some way.

If someone is filing a protection order, it is likely they are having a worse day than you.

I have some simple advice to keep in mind if you have any dealings with an abuse victim:

Please treat these individuals with respect;

Smile and be kind;

Check your ego at the door and don’t act militant or condescending;

And, most importantly – Remember that these people are human beings the same way you are. I often think of a saying we are taught as children. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

Despite these issues and many others we face as advocates, the work is rewarding. Sometimes we are the only smiling faces and offer the only kind words that others see and hear. To know that I somehow made someone’s day a little easier and helped them to have a better day makes me happy. It seems too simple. But Leonardo da Vinci was right, “Simplicity is the simplest form of sophistication.”