Breaking The Silence

I have always wanted to help people in any way I can. Growing up, my parents spent much of their time helping others, and I saw how important that was to them. I wanted to work in the medical profession to help others, but the idea of needles, blood and gore was too much for me to handle. When I started school I wasn’t sure what type of work I would want to do until I had an experience that changed my life. I was sexually assaulted as a teenager.  At the time I didn’t have any resources to turn to. The only agency I knew about was too familiar with my family, and my abuser was well known to the community. I knew like the people in my life would respond out of anger and make choices that would have negative consequences for them, so I never told anyone what happened. I was more worried about my family and friends, and chose to protect them instead of standing up for myself. In fact, some of my friends were there when the assault happened, yet none of them stopped what they were doing to help me, or encouraged me to press charges afterwards or get counseling. I dealt with the assault on my own, becoming more withdrawn and angry. I isolated myself from my friends, who were dealing with their own issues and didn’t seem to make time for me. For the next 3 years, I kept the secret of my sexual assault to myself, only disclosing a portion of it in an autobiography I was required to write for a class.

 

During college, I participated in training for a sexual assault and domestic violence organization. I began to acknowledge what had happened to me, and feelings I had ignored for years began to surface. I dealt with it as best as I could, but did it all alone. I never went to see a counselor, never told my friends, never told my family. When I started at Transitions, I decided to disclose my past with a coworker. I started feeling better as soon as I shared what had happened; someone in my life finally knew what I had gone through, and I began to feel validated.

 

Part of the reason I choose to work in this field is to validate the experiences of women and men who have been victimized and have no one to listen to their stories. I am able to be a resource for survivors in a way that I never had access to. Because I have been empowered to share my story and my journey, I can empower others who have their own journeys. Individual supportive counseling takes up much of my day, but facilitating groups of women who have experienced similar things and who can become a support system for each other is my favorite way to give back. Seeing women who have experienced and accepted abuse be able to finally stand up for themselves encourages me and keeps me going. I wasn’t able to speak up for myself; I fully believe that encouraging others to take that step themselves is one of the biggest ways I can change a life.

 

Submitted Anonymously